Today I managed to lose my debit card when I took it out of my wallet to scrape lint off the lint catcher. No more than fifteen minutes went by between when I removed my debit card from my wallet and when I was heading out the door to go to the grocery store and realized my debit card wasn't in its usual place, nor any other visible place. My room is uncharacteristically organized, and I spent close to an hour checking every possible crevice, every bin or drawer, anything that I might spacily put my card.
For the first time in my life, I have nested in a place for more than a week, and I don't think my mom would be disgusted with my room or outward appearance. I cancel a debit card about every three months, head to Walmart and pick up a Go Phone, or check out a key to get back into my dorm room (damn you Cobb and your swinging, automatic lock doors) because I'm missing a brain function that takes note of the location of really important things.
For the first time in my life, there's no one who would take particular notice of my general livelihood or what I'm doing with my stuff. While I've learned small lessons about responsibility along the way, I have never had full responsibility for myself. At school, my good friends could help me out whe I forgot things, particularly Catherine, and the school and my friends wouldn't let me disappear for too long without sending out an SOS. Every trip I've taken there are adults who planned the trip, and I thoughtlessly follow their lead. Even in Alaska, where I only had bare essentials backpacking and kayaking for 30 days, losing stuff sucked, but I had experienced outdoorsmen leading me who wouldn't let me disappear forever.
Despite the fact that I don't really have anyone who has my back, being a responsible human being isn't too hard. Keeping my room clean, planning what to bring to work, hanging my clothes back up when I get home is a lot easier than I thought, plus it makes everything else easier. I look clean and put together every day at work. In any other place, I might look polished a few times a month. I almost had this fear of looking nice because I made an effort so rarely that if I looked nice it signaled that an occasion was important to me, plus it's arduous to plan an outfit and do my hair. I'm accessorizing without thinking now. It's not nearly as daunting when I know I have to. In fact, it's a little fun.
I haven't met many college students in Atlanta. I've met a few grad students, but the majority of the people I talk to at work or hang out with in my free time so far have full-time jobs and have mortgages and car payments. I feel like I've jumped ahead 5 to 10 years in my life. Sometimes I miss the carefree college atmosphere, but I think having this glimpse into the future is the best thing for me. No one should cancel as many debit cards as I have.
Today's debit fiasco was frustrating and, considering my current lifestyle, I think an unexplainable accident. It's fun playing grown-up for now, plus a great learning experience for when I don't have a joint bank account with my parents.
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