I've been asked if I'm dating or dated someone recently since I was in middle school, but this year more than any other year, my record clean of exes is an anomaly. The best reaction to my stating that I hadn't ever dated anyone was a girl looking me down and exclaiming, "But you're slender!"
At this point in my life, I consistently have to explain why I've never had a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend, because that's a frequent follow-up question. But having watched many dysfunctional relationships develop and end, I wonder why I'm the one explaining.
I've never hesitated before enjoying a life experience due to a single person. I've never had to change my plans because my boyfriend was jealous. I've never popped anyone's zits but my own. I've never lost a friend by trying to date him and having it go sour. I've never really cried over a boy.
I've watched people put up with a lot of crap and listened to them talk about how awful their significant others are, then slobber all over each other the next time they're together. They're angry or hurt more often than not. In a recent conversation about my perpetual singleness, a friend said that I needed to experience bad relationships so that when I was in a good one I could really appreciate it.
I've been on dates and "talked" to guys-- proof that I'm not asexual-- but I don't need to waste time and energy on someone that I won't be able to speak to or about after a falling out to notice how great the good is. I can notice people's destructive flaws at an arm's length. And when I'm bouncing around to different places, I'm able to do it because I know that my family and closest friends will be there even if I forgot to call them back a few times.
I do hope one day I will meet someone that I care enough about that missing daily life with him would make me rethink embarking on an adventure. But if I don't, it won't be the end of the world, it seems there's so much good to experience in life beyond a significant other. If I'm wrong about that, if a deep romantic relationship really is the best life has to offer, I hope I don't find that out until many years from now. Ignorant bliss is treating me well.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
For the stay-at-home dads
I wrote "Mr. Moms become more common" to show how our culture is ever so slowly evolving out of "Leave it to Beaver" mentality and to tell the story of a man who had something beautiful come out of his unemployment. When I titled the article I didn't think about how those I was labeling would take it. Reading the comments on the story, I can see how those dads who are primary caregivers already struggling with societal acceptance of their role would be bothered.
It is the 21st century, and it's time to lose this expectation that the mother raises the children full-time while the father is off at his 9 to 5. I hoped to show this in my article, and I hate that the title offended the very men who are secure enough to not force homemaking on their wives in order to prove their masculinity. Jimmy Baron talked about how hard it was to attend social events at which he would have to talk about his joblessness after the inevitable "So, what do you do?"-- he eventually stopped going to them. But he also talked about a beautiful moment he had with his newborn son one night, when he fed him and rocked him to sleep at 3 in the morning. He wouldn't have been the one to get up when his son was crying if he'd had to be at work in the morning. He used the extra time in his devastating unemployment to build a strong, early relationship with his son.
While homemaking and caregiving are traditionally female roles and breadwinning the male role, stay-at-home dads aren't step-in moms and working moms aren't wanna-be dads. They are playing familial roles, not reversed gender roles. Each family functions best in different ways. I can't relate to being male or a parent, but as someone who hates being boxed into gender-based generalizations, I understand how poor word choice or rash comments are offensive and a step backwards. "Mr. Mom" is a pop culture term titling a 1980's movie and a country song, but a story about men breaking a stereotype probably shouldn't reference a stereotype. To the dads who race around with baby vomit on their shirt and, as some dads have reported, have to fight a pedophile image at the playground, keep up the good work. I'm sure your self-security and forward-thinking will hugely benefit your children.
The article: http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/wayoflife/06/18/mr.moms/index.html?iref=allsearch
It is the 21st century, and it's time to lose this expectation that the mother raises the children full-time while the father is off at his 9 to 5. I hoped to show this in my article, and I hate that the title offended the very men who are secure enough to not force homemaking on their wives in order to prove their masculinity. Jimmy Baron talked about how hard it was to attend social events at which he would have to talk about his joblessness after the inevitable "So, what do you do?"-- he eventually stopped going to them. But he also talked about a beautiful moment he had with his newborn son one night, when he fed him and rocked him to sleep at 3 in the morning. He wouldn't have been the one to get up when his son was crying if he'd had to be at work in the morning. He used the extra time in his devastating unemployment to build a strong, early relationship with his son.
While homemaking and caregiving are traditionally female roles and breadwinning the male role, stay-at-home dads aren't step-in moms and working moms aren't wanna-be dads. They are playing familial roles, not reversed gender roles. Each family functions best in different ways. I can't relate to being male or a parent, but as someone who hates being boxed into gender-based generalizations, I understand how poor word choice or rash comments are offensive and a step backwards. "Mr. Mom" is a pop culture term titling a 1980's movie and a country song, but a story about men breaking a stereotype probably shouldn't reference a stereotype. To the dads who race around with baby vomit on their shirt and, as some dads have reported, have to fight a pedophile image at the playground, keep up the good work. I'm sure your self-security and forward-thinking will hugely benefit your children.
The article: http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/wayoflife/06/18/mr.moms/index.html?iref=allsearch
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
The ups and downs of my internship
Chronicling my day and telling stories is kind of boring, which is why I haven't blogged in a while. For the sake of the worldwide demand for short and simple reading, I'm numbering this blog post. These are little things aspiring journalists should take into consideration before immediately accepting their internship offer.
The Hardships
1. Eye damage. After staring at a computer monitor or TV at least 40 hours a day, natural light no longer seems natural.
2. Email glut. I would estimate that I've gotten over 10,000 emails since my Turner account was created a little over three weeks ago. It just occurred to me today after meeting with my supervisor about a mistake I made due to missing an email that I should create search folders. That will hopefully take care of missing pertinent emails in the future, but there's still the problem of having to individually delete all the emails. It takes a long time.
3. Shortening attention span. Ad-libbing a Wires editor from my first day, CNN is an ADD factory. My struggles with movies more than an hour long and books without pictures or video I developed over the past year have worsened.
4. Working on a breaking-news schedule. It's not college. You can't skip or cram or take a break for a few hours when studying gets boring. There's no such thing as a slow CNN employee, and that applies to a person's walking, talking, mental, and email response speed.
5. News is consuming. I had a dream the other night that I went into work and the oil spill had been stopped two days before, and I felt dumb and out of the loop. Unfortunately, in real life I was completely in the loop and the outlook's still very bleak. Regardless of how great it would be for the well to be capped, dreaming about not knowing huge news two days after it occurred was the equivalent of realizing I was naked at school.
6. Business casual attire. Dress code means looking nice every day, and looking nice means getting hit on. Make-up and clothing that conservatively makes it clear that Ihave breasts attracts lonely public transportation riders, streetwalkers, and Target shoppers by the masses. My favorite was a 60-plus man on the MARTA wearing a cowboy hat who said he thought he'd met me somewhere in the state of N.C. He said he was in the port business and asked for my number to talk about Wilmington. Girls, beware the daytime prowlers when androgynous clothing isn't an option.
The Perks
1. The name tag. Not only does it say "CNN" to feed into my self importance, it also always has to be on your person to activate the elevators and get through most doors. It comes with a retractable clip so it's difficult to lose or misplace. I've never had anything of daily importance physically attached to me. It's the next best thing to a reconstructive surgery for a marsupial pouch my dad keeps pushing me to get.
2. Personal TVs. Everyone has one in the newsroom, sometimes multiple. While it seems it would be a little inappropriate to watch Southpark or FOXNews, there is quite a bit of CNN content to have droning in the background or watch when you have downtime.
3. No fatal mistakes. You can piss people off by the thousands, destroy reputations, and embarrass yourself nationally, but no one's lives are really in your hands. At least with what I'm doing. Having once considered a career in the medical field, I'm relieved college chem broke my spirit and caused a life plan reevaluation.
4. Complementary coffee. Freshly brewed multiple times a day and only a few steps below Dunkin Donuts. I've also had free ice cream, cake, bagels and Chick-fil-a. It's nice when I can save my PBJ for the next day.
5. Everyone's nice. Beyond my department in which incredibly successful journalists will walk me through edits and encourage me with story pitches, small talk buzzes everywhere. I suppose it's inevitable with a business that runs on communication based in the South.
Pretty sure I hit everything important.
The Perks
1. The name tag. Not only does it say "CNN" to feed into my self importance, it also always has to be on your person to activate the elevators and get through most doors. It comes with a retractable clip so it's difficult to lose or misplace. I've never had anything of daily importance physically attached to me. It's the next best thing to a reconstructive surgery for a marsupial pouch my dad keeps pushing me to get.
2. Personal TVs. Everyone has one in the newsroom, sometimes multiple. While it seems it would be a little inappropriate to watch Southpark or FOXNews, there is quite a bit of CNN content to have droning in the background or watch when you have downtime.
3. No fatal mistakes. You can piss people off by the thousands, destroy reputations, and embarrass yourself nationally, but no one's lives are really in your hands. At least with what I'm doing. Having once considered a career in the medical field, I'm relieved college chem broke my spirit and caused a life plan reevaluation.
4. Complementary coffee. Freshly brewed multiple times a day and only a few steps below Dunkin Donuts. I've also had free ice cream, cake, bagels and Chick-fil-a. It's nice when I can save my PBJ for the next day.
5. Everyone's nice. Beyond my department in which incredibly successful journalists will walk me through edits and encourage me with story pitches, small talk buzzes everywhere. I suppose it's inevitable with a business that runs on communication based in the South.
Pretty sure I hit everything important.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)