For the stay-at-home dads

I wrote "Mr. Moms become more common" to show how our culture is ever so slowly evolving out of "Leave it to Beaver" mentality and to tell the story of a man who had something beautiful come out of his unemployment. When I titled the article I didn't think about how those I was labeling would take it. Reading the comments on the story, I can see how those dads who are primary caregivers already struggling with societal acceptance of their role would be bothered.

It is the 21st century, and it's time to lose this expectation that the mother raises the children full-time while the father is off at his 9 to 5. I hoped to show this in my article, and I hate that the title offended the very men who are secure enough to not force homemaking on their wives in order to prove their masculinity. Jimmy Baron talked about how hard it was to attend social events at which he would have to talk about his joblessness after the inevitable "So, what do you do?"-- he eventually stopped going to them. But he also talked about a beautiful moment he had with his newborn son one night, when he fed him and rocked him to sleep at 3 in the morning. He wouldn't have been the one to get up when his son was crying if he'd had to be at work in the morning. He used the extra time in his devastating unemployment to build a strong, early relationship with his son.

While homemaking and caregiving are traditionally female roles and breadwinning the male role, stay-at-home dads aren't step-in moms and working moms aren't wanna-be dads. They are playing familial roles, not reversed gender roles. Each family functions best in different ways. I can't relate to being male or a parent, but as someone who hates being boxed into gender-based generalizations, I understand how poor word choice or rash comments are offensive and a step backwards. "Mr. Mom" is a pop culture term titling a 1980's movie and a country song, but a story about men breaking a stereotype probably shouldn't reference a stereotype. To the dads who race around with baby vomit on their shirt and, as some dads have reported, have to fight a pedophile image at the playground, keep up the good work. I'm sure your self-security and forward-thinking will hugely benefit your children.

The article: http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/wayoflife/06/18/mr.moms/index.html?iref=allsearch